MARRIAGE MATERIAL Read online

  It didn't really help much. Tamara missed him desperately. She ignored it as much as possible, but it seemed there was always a little voice in her heart crying his name. All the time, day and night.

  But this morning, she shoved him out of her mind. Not even a broken heart would spoil her joy at finally returning to school, to the classes she loved and that would lead to the life she had missed so desperately. If she couldn't have Lance, at least she'd have this.

  Walking around the Denver campus, Tamara found herself looking at it all with a different eye. The taste of intellectual energy and infinite possibility lingered in the crisp late-autumn air, and the smell of challenge filled her head, but it wasn't quite as heady as it once had been. She didn't have quite the same need to become absorbed into the university itself, to be a molecule within its vast, hallowed structure. As much as she looked forward to her classes, they would be a means to an end this time.

  She mused at the change on her way home. What had the university represented to her as a young girl that she'd found elsewhere?

  Identity. Yes, that was it. She'd been so afraid that she would disappear if she didn't affiliate herself with the university life. That somehow life would snatch her back into its bowels if she didn't keep her hands on those walls.

  Cody had changed that for her. Cody—and Lance—who had each given her, in different ways, the courage to be herself, to claim her own life, within or without a structure.

  What freedom!

  A note was pinned to her door when she got home. It looked like Lance's handwriting, and Tamara felt an immediate sense of worry. She tore open the envelope and found a note in a childish scrawl. "Look in the bread box."

  She smiled. A treasure hunt. What fun.

  In the bread box, she found another note. In Lance's handwriting was a line of a poem. "'And all that's best of dark and bright / Meet in her aspect and her eyes.'"

  Tamara swallowed. Byron.

  The note directed her to go to the drugstore and ask the clerk for the next note. Feeling silly and a quiet anticipation, Tamara drove there. The older woman behind the counter smiled broadly. "Oh, yes." She gave her an envelope, her eyes twinkling. Tamara carried it outside before she opened it.

  The quotation this time was from Ben Jonson. "'The thirst that from the soul doth rise/Doth ask a drink divine.'" Below it was a child's handwriting:

  "Go to the Wild Moose."

  Her hands started to tremble, and Tamara had to take several long deep breaths before she pulled her car out and headed to the Wild Moose, where the waitress gave her another card. There was a secret in her eyes, and Tamara's heart began to thud painfully. This one contained another part of the Ben Jonson poem. "To Celia." Tamara knew it by heart. "'Drink to me only with thine eyes, and I will pledge with mine,'" he'd written.

  Tamara finished it under her breath: "'Or leave a kiss but in the cup/ And I'll not look for wine.'" With effort, she bit back a rush of tears.

  The chase led all over town, to the gas station, the courthouse, the school. By the time Tamara got the last note, telling her to go to Lake Rosalie, her heart was shimmering, and her hands trembled violently and she didn't think she could bear to have the suspense drawn out another second.

  There seemed to be no one about. Tamara drove up and turned off her car. It was utterly still and peaceful when she got out. A magpie called out boldly, and she heard the twitterings of sparrows hidden by the pines. In the late-afternoon sunlight, the lake sparkled. Only her heart, pounding like a drum, seemed to break the quiet.

  A picnic table sat by the lake, and on it was a simple flag made of paper and glitter, with her name in a childish scrawl. Below it was a card and a small package. She looked around, but there was no one.

  She picked up the card. It was hand folded, and she recognized Cody's crayon style in the design on the front. For a moment, she thought of Lance patiently helping him as they put together the treasure hunt, and her chest hurt.

  There was only a quotation this time. Shakespeare, from Hamlet. This time, Tamara could not breathe, and she could not stop the overflow of tears that spilled out of her eyes, hot and silent, as she read it aloud.

  "Doubt thou the stars are fire;

  Doubt that the sun doth move;

  Doubt truth to be a liar

  But never doubt I love."

  Blinking, she picked up the wrapped package, unable to see for a moment. It was wrapped simply in white tissue paper, and on the top, written in blue ballpoint pen, was a single word—"'Please.'"

  She opened the box. Inside were three rings—a simple, stunning diamond that gave off hot sparks in the low sunlight, and two gold bands. Her hands were trembling so violently, Tamara could barely hold the small box.

  From the trees came a rustling. Lance, holding Cody on his hip, emerged from the bushes. Man and boy had leaves in their hair, and the knees of their jeans had dirt marks from kneeling.

  Lance said nothing. On his face was a sober, earnest expression, and Tamara had never been so in love with him as she was in that minute. She burst into tears.

  He came forward and gently set Cody down on the ground. Tamara flung her arms around Lance's neck and wept with pure, unbridled joy. He caught her close, his arms like a vise around her body. She buried her face in his shoulder, smelling in his precious scent. "I can't imagine anything more touching. Not if I live a thousand years."

  "I meant every word," he said in a husky voice. "I know I haven't had the best reputation, but I can't stand to think of my life without you, Tamara. I love you so much."

  She clung to him, almost dizzy with joy. She thought of his faithfulness to his son, of his need to care for them, of his patience and honor and goodness. "You are such a good man," she whispered.

  "Is that a yes?" he asked, and to her surprise, there was genuine doubt in his words.

  She raised her head. "Yes."

  He sighed, and the sound was replete with relief. He hugged her again, so close Tamara felt he would inhale her. "Thank God."

  "And Valerie," Tamara said.

  Lance smiled. "And Valerie," he agreed.

  "Mommy," Cody piped up suddenly. "Don't you want to put on this pretty ring?"

  Tamara laughed. "Oh, yes," she said, and held out her hand.

  Cody looked hopefully at his father. "Can I do it?"

  "Let's do it together." He took the ring out of the box and held it in his hand. Cody jumped on the picnic table to put his fingers over his dad's. Together they slid the ring onto Tamara's finger. She admired it happily, then hugged them both at once. "You guys are terrific," she said.

  "That's because of you, Mommy," Cody replied seriously.

  "Amen," said Lance.

  In the forest clearing, with her son and her future mate in her arms, Tamara felt her soul fly up and touch the sky, mingle with the waters of the lake, dance on the wind.

  "I love you, Lance," she breathed. All was well.

  He pressed a kiss to her brow. "And I love you, Tamara."

  "And me!" Cody shouted.

  Tamara and Lance laughed. "And you, too," they said together.

  * * * * *